Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
