call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
