ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
