All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
