ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
