JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
