His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hate all girls vehemently.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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