just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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