I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
