If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
