I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
