Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
