His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
