No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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