Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
