so explain again why im purple
no
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
