so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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