How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
