woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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