Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
