Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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