actually, I'm a sock model
I accidentally had phone sex last night
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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