I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Alive.
So much puke
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
