she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
