I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
