What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
