my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Bring me that man meat
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
