so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
