I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the day after is always just damage control
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
