Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think your dad took our porno
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
