I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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