can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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