Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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