lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
