So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
