she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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