New invention idea: vibrating tampons
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
