i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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