it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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