peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
