Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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