sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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