careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
