Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
