I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he fucked my hip out of place.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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