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Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
