in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
