My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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