no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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