i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
